Resurrection

Mea culpa.

I have not been writing on this blog as often as I should. I have been preoccupied with so many things – mostly work and, well, sleeping and just simply daydreaming. Honestly, I have been too lazy to really go out like I used to do. The comfort of my room has been my refuge and my Shangri-la of late. I can cocoon myself in my room the entire weekend and feel not having lost anything.

Maybe I should blame it on my weight gain. I read it somewhere that people who gain weight tend to be more sluggish. Seems to me lately that sleep is the most precious thing in the whole wide world, and my bed is the best thing that was ever invented by man. Sleep, sleep, sleep. That’s all I look forward to when weekend comes around.

Or maybe I should also blame it on Facebook. Almost like a ritual, I find myself online on my netbook and logging into FB whenever I am home. A comfy bedroom with temperature control, a housekeeper who dotes on me and brings anything and everything I need right into my bedroom, and DSL that keeps me connected to my online friends – definitely a sure-fire combination to ensure that I stay oblivious to what is happening outside the four corners of my bedroom.

I need to get a life.

Maybe change is what I need - a change that can really make a difference in my life. I have always preached about change that is dynamic, innovative, edgy and life-changing. It is a mantra that I never fail to use as a springboard of discussions with colleagues and clients. Maybe somewhere along the way, I grew tired of dreaming about change. Maybe I stopped hoping that meaningful change can happen in my lifetime.

I stopped being angry at the undisciplined drivers who make driving through our little town's puny main road a stress-busting daily struggle. I stopped being mad at how our government seems so helpless with the daily chaos we go through. I stopped at waiting for the traffic aides in red to do something about the mayhem on the street. I ceased to be incensed at how Pasig, Makati and Taguig bully our little town and treat it as their garbage dump, end-of-the-road garage and cheap bed space for its workforce.

I simply lost the appetite and will for change. The longing stopped when the anger ceased.

But I am fighting back, getting angry once more. And my pen, or my keyboard to be more precise, will help me on as it always did in the past. And so I am back again, writing and blogging. I need to see more of the world again through my little town, so I can write about what I see, what I hear, what I feel. I need to walk the streets. I need to smell the stench of the river, savour the taste of fishball and crispy fried chicken skin, and feel the heat of people as they bump into each other on the cramped sidewalks.

This is the real deal. This is life - Redux.